(image credit and caption go to CRPG Addict)
This is going to ROCK!
Onward to Glory!
Let the people of New Phlan rejoice! Lame Brain has come to save them for reasonable rates!
His fire-based spells and shining sword shall sweep away the scum in the ruins like a broom sweeping away the dust! Behold his glorious golden locks! Behold his heroic visage! Behold his bold chainmail!
He shall defeat the enemies that plauge this fair city! (Other people will probably help. A bit.)